Week Forty-Nine

Definition: overwhelming desire for more

Catilla wasn't always like she was. Once, she had light within her, and was an ordinary little girl.

She was raised as an only child by parents who were terribly poor. Growing up, Catilla didn't think anything of it, until others around her started to call her dirty names such as filth, beggar, and scum. Their words struck a nerve that never returned to normalcy. The words made her angry, and they tore at her heart. Surely she wasn't such names because she was poor, was she? Contemplating, she thought...and traced the words back to her situation. She began to cry, and decided to make a vow to herself. One such vow that required her to succeed, demanded even, that she mustn't fail. One vow that completely and utterly consumed her life purpose. To rise to the top.
She'd show them.

Years passed, and Catilla indeed rose out of poverty, but at a cost. She never saw her parents, or her old home. She had no friends, she had no hobbies; all she did was work. Work and work and work. But she was happy. Or, at least that's what she thought that feeling growing inside of her was. But it was false, and she knew it. Still, determined to be at the top, she mentally shoved her sadness down. Way down deep. Soon, with a subconscious decision, she began to fill her unhappiness with material things. And it felt good. This, and that, and this. Oh, it was simply wonderful. She had money, jewels, fine linen, gold, and anything else she could grasp her hands on that felt affluent. But with each new purchase, she needed more. Each time she said to herself, "after this, then I'll be happy". But happy never came. Only a burning desire of wanting. And with the wanting, returned the aching burn of emptiness. But how could this be? She was the glorious one now, and them the filth. The scum. The beggars. For they had little, and she had so much.

Or did she.

That was the question that kept nagging in the folds of her brain. Day and night this question floated around in her head, stuck, as if in limbo. Who had she become? What had she become? No, she had become powerful, plentiful, and she had wealth.  Wasn't this what her life purpose was? Had she not fulfilled her vow to herself?

But yet, empty. Empty was the feeling her being was flowing with. She knew the only way for her to be free was to give it all away. But she couldn't. She would not  be scum again. She did not want anybody else to have anything, only her. All hers. Her. And her and her.

So. She made a decision. And it almost, made her feel happy. 

She bought a beautiful chest, and filled it with all of her favorite possessions, which, of course, were the most valuable. This way, no one would be able to take her things away from her. This way, all of her things would be safe. This way, it could all be hers. Each night, she would open her chest, and check her possessions, making sure each item was present. But then, the visits became more frequent. A habit she called it, but that was not what it was. An obsession would be a more fitting word. It had consumed her, completely. Her mind, her heart, her life were all poisoned by the slime of greed. 

In the very depths of her soul, there had been a sliver of a hope, a hope that she could put an end to her hunger for more. But that sliver was long gone now, passing out of her being, into the basin of her lonely life. For she had a choice. A choice to change, and be good again. Or to not be good again. And she chose. Wrong.

Without even knowing it, Catilla soon spent her days with her chest full of wealth, till the sun smiled no more and the moon began to glow.

And one night, she was tired.

And one night, she opened up the chest.

And one night, she crawled inside.

And one night, Catilla chose.

And one night, she chose wrong.

 

And one night, she never came back out. 

 

Greed.

Definition: overwhelming desire for more

Week Forty-Eight

To be consumed.

Week Forty-Seven

Turning over a new leaf.

It is now 2013, folks. Where has the time gone by? This year came and went so suddenly, it seems. Some things happened, some things didn't, but dreams still live yet. I grew in areas, became weak in some, and realized both. It's a learning process, and I'm thankful for God's grace and mercy everyday. He has been so patient with me this past year, and I love Him all the more for it.

When I was gathering leaves to throw for the below photograph, I picked one up and a tiny snail fell off. It made me think about how, like the snail, we as humans can be so easily uprooted and disrupted from our everyday life with tragedies, health issues, and anything that this life throws at us. It is so easy to stay down once we have been knocked over. But with God, we can get back up. And keep on getting back up. He extends his hand, always. Sometimes we don't feel like reaching out. But, here's a little secret- the rad aspect about Him is that he has mastered patience. He'll always be waiting for you.

Here's to 2013. A year to try new things, explore, give, dream, begin afresh, create, discover, pursue, learn, grow, and love.

Cheers,

-G

"Pray hardest when it is hardest to pray."

Week Forty-Six

 

Left and Right.

 This and That.

Black and White

Mind over Matter.

Choices, choices choices.

So, I'm not really sure what this is. I'm behind two weeks in my 52 weeks project, and finals are tomorrow, and it was dark when I finally had time to take this picture, and I'm wearing a Green Bay Packers shirt which really doesn't fit, and you can see my laptop plugged into the wall in the background, and, and... the result? Something strange that I tried to make look cool. ^.^

Bear with me. I promise to try and be more original in the next coming weeks.

xo
and
so long for now,
-G

Week Forty-Five

Some days you just need to soar.

Week Forty-Four

Once upon a time, there were moments of awakeness, and then a lifetime of slumber.

At first, the thought is appealing; to sleep forever, and then awake, restful and refreshed. But for Acedianna, the awake never came.

     Acedianna was a young girl who had much to live for, and much to gain. She knew this, but sadly took it for granted. Her parents worked hard and strove for success so that she, their daughter could have a happy and wonderful life. But this too, she took for granted. She did not work hard for herself, she did not care about her future, all she cared about was now. And now, she wanted to be happy. But it was the wrong kind of happy. It was a happy based solely off of self pleasure, and comfort, and over time Acedianna became lazy.

The days melted into one another for Acedianna, but she did not notice. She was too busy not being busy; sleeping, being pampered, and eating fine delicacies were what her days consisted of. For awhile, it was utterly wonderful, but her spirit soon became slothful. Over time, she started to feel bored with her life. But she was so used to having things done for her that she did not know how to do them for herself. Everything became dull, lifeless, slow. She started to have a burning desire for adventure, but she did not how to acquire it. She searched and searched, trying to find it, buy it, but she did not realize that adventure never finds us. We have to go out into the world and find it for ourselves.

 

But that was too hard. Acedianna wanted something easier.

 

She became tired, tired of her life, tired of everything; so her favorite pastime became resting, and soon her days were slept away. She was sad, for she did not know how to be happy without being indolent. 

She had a favorite spot outside under a tree, where she would rest her conflicted mind. She would often wake up to the songs of the birds, and it would make her heart heavy, for they had a wonderful, simple life, she thought. Completely wild and free, full of adventure. So tired was she, straining to lift her head; to catch a glimpse of the creatures, for the sounds drew her in. Still, it puzzled her, for how could they be happy without having anything, and especially without having anything done for them? It must be because they are stupid, she convinced herself. Yes, that was it. She was so much better than the birds. She didn't have to do anything, after all! They were just silly, petty little animals, and if they knew any better they would demand the other birds to get things for them. She had glimpsed for a second, the simple and beautiful life she could have, but her stubborn heart would not have it. She was too bent in her ways and determined on having things done for her. What she did not realize was that by doing this, her life was being lived by others.

One day, as she lay down in her favorite spot, she thought about her life and despite how stupid the birds really were, they were the closest things to friends she had, for they didn't do anything for her. They never helped her, served her, or worked for her. They just simply were. 

 

 

Acedianna lay her head down to sleep like she always had.

And to awake in this life, nevermore.

Week Forty-Three

"You are here.

Be present.

Live."


"

This post is a wee bit late, so my apologies. :] It's not anything special, really. I need to set aside more time for my photos, I'm nearing the end of my 52 weeks journey! How did it go by so fast? Only nine more weeks, which means only nine more photographs! Oyy. I'm going to miss it. But I don't think I'll do another one for a little while. But, you never know...we shall see.

My mom is super cool and knows that I love rocks, so she bought me this beauty as an early Christmas present. It's so unique; the colors, the details and the shape. I'm simply in love, to be honest. She's a keeper...but always has been and always will be. [;